Available on Amazon!

It is with tremendous joy and pride that I am announcing that Anna's Tears is now available on Amazon.

Thank you to all of you who sent me the fairy dust and believed in my project! You can view my Author page here:   http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B006B9W33Q

Thanks especially to fellow authors Helen Hollick and Jo Field for your encouragement. 

Excuses, excuses…

[Preface: Ironically I wrote this article three weeks ago and since it’s about excuses, I don’t need to excuse myself that it took so long to post.]

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to get over myself and actually put keyboard to pixel.

By getting over myself, I don’t mean that I think that my ego is too big, it’s just that I need to let go of the idea of perfection. You see, originally, I had intended to update my blog at least every month and Twitter three times a week --which, believe it or not, was an acceptable interval back when I started. But when I was told that to be “heard” I needed a weekly blog and to tweet at least 3-6 times per day, it all fell apart.

Yes, I hear you thinking,“Oh, great! Now she has another excuse created by those nebulous marketing types.” In truth, the stark reality that my writing would be likely become wasted zeros and ones floating around in the internet alternate universe did make it all seem pointless . It’s not that I want to be a celebrity, but I don’t get enough joy from simply "writing for the sake of writing" as I hear other authors claim they do. I get joy from knowing others read what I have written and maybe get something out of it, even if it’s just making them feel less alone in their neurotic thoughts!

The part about “getting over myself” also includes the crazy notion that there are “keepers-of-the-blog-counts” out there that actually notice how often I post blog entries! Now that is a crazy idea in and of itself, and just another glimpse into the dark crevices of my grey matter.

So now, after way too long of an introduction, I say: “to heck with perfectionism!”

Although I’m not convinced that I can actually do it, and that there won’t be a litany of excuses to follow, I’m going to endeavour to write more often - whatever interval that ends up being.

While we are on the idea of excuses, I’m going to start to tweet my top excuses for not writing. The first, of course, will be “I was too busy writing a blog entry.”

I love what Twitter has done for me, but….

I love what Twitter has done for me. It’s connected me to some amazing people including my two literary angels, @HelenHollick a wonderful historical writer who then introduced me to the woman who became my copy editor, Jo Field www.myspace.com/tawford, who is also an author in her own right.

But at the same time, I cannot believe how it’s changed since I joined back in March. It's getting so crowded now that I can’t possibly keep up with everything that’s going on (perhaps my “follow” list is too long?). I know they’ve added some new tools to help sort through the barrage of sentiments and insights (I use this term lightly), but I still find it overwhelming. It’s like being at a party and being bombarded by stories, occupations, and interests of the 664 people (that’s how many people I’m following). And sadly, many of the people are just not that interesting, and the ones that are, are either lost in the digital stream, or difficult to find to start with.

In this age of advanced “communication” and information overload, I see the same ideas repeating themselves over and over again. And frankly, it’s often a bore - but herein may lay a silver lining...

Over the last few years, I often pondered the future of books and wondered if people will still take the time to read them when they can more easily fill up hours with online sound bites? I have to admit that I have succumbed to far too much time passively being entertained by the likes of Nigahiga and KeJumba. Although they may be hilarious at times, I wonder how I will feel one day towards the end of my life looking back? Will I regret the times spent with these pursuits instead of reading great books, or will it matter at all?

Recently I ploughed - and yes, I did feel like one of those horses I saw at the fair pulling far too much weight- through Anna Karenina. Had it not been “required reading” for my book club, I never would have read it, even though I have always wanted to. It was long and tedious at times, and inspired and touching at others. Do I regret the forty hours it took me to read it? Absolutely not. Has it inspired me to read other classics? Yes!

On the other hand, do I regret that I spent half of Saturday on YouTube? Yes, a little bit. It makes me wonder: although both activities would fall in the “entertainment” category, why do they seem so different? Is it my constant guilt and fear of wasting my life? Or does it point to something deeper? Something more primal?

I have come to the conclusion that as much as we may think we want life to be easy and to be fed like babies - whether that’s by food companies or the entertainment industry -we all have a desire for something more. I believe people are born with a desire for something that can only be attained by a bit of effort. It takes work to grow an apple orchard, pick the fruit and make your own cider (believe me I know!). Of course it would be much easier to take a can out of the cupboard and crack it open, but nothing compares with the taste of freshly pressed cider and the accompanying feeling of satisfaction.

I have become convinced that people will always read books, whether on electronic media or in print, and be willing to do the “work” to get to the ending. At least that’s what I’m hoping for.

Announcing.... "Anna's Tears"

May I have a drum roll please? Rat tat tat... Announcing name of my debut novel, for those who missed it: "Anna's Tears".   Now should a very large publisher, with a boat load of cash, want to change the title… well I'd be open to suggestions!

I know some of you are thinking – “OMG, she’d sell out. She’d give up her creative for cash – what a terrible thing!”

We darlings, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but this is business after all. As we all know, from the book publisher’s perspective, publishing has A LOT to do with making money. I struggled for years trying to reconcile spirituality and money. And, much to my surprise, I found out that they are not incompatible.

This all came to a head when I toyed with the idea of teaching yoga for a living. I had been a student of yoga for over ten years and had experienced much healing from it and wanted to share it with others. But I still needed to have an income. I wondered, “How can I possibly teach yoga for a living and yet take money for it?” Somehow, it seemed wrong. It was okay for me to exchange my office skills and ability to navigate in “cubicle land” for money, but when it came to yoga, in my mind, the rules changed.

After lots of reading and journaling on the topic, I came to realize that money wasn’t the problem, it was my perception of it that was. Money is just energy. Like everything, it can be used for good, or not. It can help a person, or not. Whether it is derived from office work or from my creative or spiritual, doesn’t really matter to the Universe.

I came to realize that I was just exchanging my energy – my knowledge of yoga – for my student’s energy, which happened to take the form of money. We were just bartering; simply exchanging something for something else. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now back to “Anna’s Tears”. In the end, it’s not the title of the book that matters, it’s the contents.

I want to get the book into people’s hands and have them experience Anna’s and the other character’s tragedies and victories. I want them to shed tears and rejoice along with me. I want them to be moved to be better people; to know they have the strength within to overcome the misery that life throws at them; to be inspired. And if none of that, to at least give them an escape from their day to day lives.

So, when a publisher decides to take on my book, God willing, and if they think they can sell more copies with a different title, well, then that’s what I’ll do!